Over the next few weeks 1000’s of kids will go to school for the very first time . . . and naturally, there will be some tears.

But not from the kids . . . they’re basically cool with it. Meanwhile you’re sitting in the car bawling your eyes out.

A new survey found parents are five times more likely than kids to cry on the first day of school.

More than half of parents say they felt overwhelmingly emotional the first time they dropped their kids off at school . . . three-quarters say it felt like the end of an era . . . and 44% immediately considered having another baby.

Half of parents also say after their kid started school, things were never the same . . . they noticed a difference when they cuddled with their kid from that point on.

When a little kid gets in trouble, their first instinct is usually to scream for their mommy. And apparently, that instinct never really goes away.

A 36-year-old guy named Jose Marrero-Rivera from Allentown, Pennsylvania punched a guy who owed him money on Friday night.

And according to the police report, when the cops tracked down Jose and told him that he was under arrest, he, quote, “began yelling at the top of his lungs for his mother.”

They told him to quiet down, but he kept on yelling for his mommy and struggling with the cops.

He was charged with conspiracy to commit robbery, simple assault, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct.

Full story here.

A dermatologist in southern California recently got a bakery to make a bunch of cupcakes that look like pimples!! And when you squeeze them, yellow custard comes out. It looks like they just made one batch though, so they’re not actually selling them.

Okay ladies… How mad would you be??

Someone posted a video of a bride and groom on a scooter, driving down a street in China. Apparently they just left their wedding, because she’s still in her dress.

And when they hit a speed bump, she falls off. But the husband doesn’t notice and just keeps driving away.

This may just be the most exciting thing that happens at any office in the world this week. Don’t lie… You wish this would happen at your office.

Two office workers in Manchester, England got into an argument yesterday afternoon during a meeting . . . and then it got physical.

And by “physical,” I mean “ridiculous” . . . because the guys both grabbed their computer keyboards and started hitting each other with them.

Unfortunately I don’t have many more details on the fight, and don’t know exactly what kind of work they do.

But only one of the guys was arrested for assault. So maybe he swung the first keyboard?

Think about it, keyboard fights could become a sport!

GrubHub.com looked at 187 different congressional districts that lean heavily liberal or conservative, and figured out which foods Democrats order more than Republicans . . . and vice versa.

Usually these lists are pretty stupid, because they’re either too arbitrary or too stereotypical. But this one is alright, because they also figured out which ‘bipartisan’ foods are uniting the country.

First, the ten foods Republicans order more: Sweet and sour chicken . . . cannolis . . . brownies . . . egg rolls . . . boneless wings . . . lo mein . . . sesame chicken . . . gyros . . . calzones . . . and mozzarella sticks. So a lot of classics, but not all that healthy.

The top ten for Democrats are massaman curry . . . veggie burgers . . . spring rolls . . . guacamole . . . pancakes . . . green curry . . . burritos . . . turkey burgers . . . basil fried rice . . . and avocado salads. So a lot of stuff people didn’t order a decade ago.

And the five most bipartisan foods are spicy salmon rolls . . . bacon cheeseburgers . . . shrimp and broccoli . . . spicy tuna rolls . . . and lemon chicken. So the three things we can all agree on are burgers, Chinese food, and sushi.

Time magazine also posted a quiz where you can find out if your diet leans more Democrat or Republican. So if you want to base your vote on whether you prefer BLTs or buffalo chicken wraps, now you can. You can take the quiz here.

Well this is brilliant! A company in Japan just released a new air conditioner . . . for your armpits!

It’s a tiny little battery powered fan that clips on to the inside of your shirt sleeve and blows cold air into your armpits. The easiest way to buy one is from a British importer, but it’ll set you back $48 plus $21 for shipping.

Get one for yourself… Just click here!

Men don’t like going to the doctor. And that’s fine, because pulsating, oozing growths usually go away on their own.

A new survey found men are about 33% less likely than women to go to the doctor on a regular basis.

Here are the seven reasons why men say they avoid the doctor . . .

1. I’m too busy, 24%.

2. I’m afraid of what might be wrong, 22%.

3. I don’t like uncomfortable body exams, 19%. (Oh come on. The sound of that rubber glove snapping behind me brings a smile to my face.)

4. I don’t like being weighed, 12%.

5. I don’t like being naked under the gown, 8%.

6. I don’t want to answer personal questions from the doctor, 7%.

7. It’s too cold in the doctor’s office, 4%.

“The Huffington Post” asked a bunch of couples therapists for the most common things men say that make women angry. Here are the top five . . .

1. “Calm down.” It’s the worst way to calm someone down, because it doesn’t work. And it’s like saying they’re overreacting and their feelings aren’t valid.

2. “Did you really need to buy that?” It puts them on defense. And if they just bought something, they’re probably excited about it. So unless you expect them to return it, you’re better off having a larger discussion about finances later on.

3. “Why are you so upset? That wouldn’t bother me.” What women hear is, “You’re crazy.” So again, it’s like saying their feelings aren’t valid.

4. “I’ll do it, just stop nagging me.” It’s like trying to shift the blame, and make it seem like THEY’RE being unreasonable. But if you haven’t done something you said you’d do, then maybe it’s not unreasonable to bring it up again.

5. Comparing them to an ex. Especially if you say your ex was better at something. It can bruise your ego even if it’s something dumb, like saying they were a better driver. And guys don’t like it any more than women do.

Here’s a good lesson for the kids. Sometimes dreams do come true.

Some cops in Detroit tried to pull a guy over at around 1:30 A.M. on Friday, but he took off. So they chased after him for a few minutes until he lost control of the car, hopped a curb, and stopped.

And when they were arresting him, they asked him why he took off. And he said, quote, “Running from the cops was on my bucket list.”

He was charged with fleeing and eluding, and marijuana possession.