Jason And Tony: Mugshot of the Year? A Criminal Shows Off His Smushed Face and Gorgeous Blond Mullet

Sometimes a mugshot is so good, pretty much no back story is required. Like, I tried to read the article about what this guy did, but we couldn’t get through it, because our eyes were locked on his photo. But we’re going to try. Here goes . . .

63-year-old Noel Dawson Jr. from North Toledo, Ohio was arrested last week for chasing around a family member with a hatchet, then smashing it into that person’s truck. He’s facing a bunch of charges. But that’s all negligible. Let’s talk mugshot.

First of all, he’s smushing up his face, like those old “bitter beer face” ads. He’s got these giant bags under his eyes that almost look like implants. And he’s got a long, flowing, blond mullet. He’s a god.