Jason Bailey

Here’s a story about pee and burning that isn’t related to the terrible decisions you made…

The CDC just released a statement on why you sometimes get red, itchy, or burning eyes when you go swimming in a pool. We all assumed for years that it was a reaction to the chlorine, right? Nope.

It’s actually because of all the people peeing in the water.

It turns out that chlorine binds itself with the bacteria it’s trying to kill . . . and that includes all the bacteria in your pee and your sweat. Those chemical bonds are irritants that can sting your eyes.

There’s really nothing you can do to avoid it . . . but you can be part of the solution by showering before you swim. And, you know, having the basic human decency not to pee in a pool.

This makes you not want to help anybody!!

A guy named Derrick Deanda from Elk Grove, California was in his car last month when he saw a van swerve off the road and roll over. And he immediately stopped to help.

And it’s a good thing he did, because a guy and his three kids were trapped inside. Derrick broke a window and helped pull them out safely before the paramedics showed up.

And now, a few weeks later, Derrick got his reward . . . a $143 bill from the city.

It turns out that when Derrick broke the window on the van, he got a small cut on his hand. One of the paramedics took a quick look at it . . . so, BOOM, $143.

Derrick says he’s shocked they charged him for helping save the family. Quote, “I mean, why would I want to stop to help somebody if I’m going to get a bill?”

We are so lucky social media wasn’t around when we were kids, to broadcast the dumb things we did to the entire world.

A 15-year-old girl in Trussville, Alabama named Darby Risner was hanging out with some friends at church on Sunday, and she saw a Barney the Dinosaur costume lying around. Apparently the pastor had bought it a few years back.

Well, she put on the head . . . and got stuck. She was trapped in it for 45 minutes until firefighters finally got it off her.

I know we live in an era where body shaming is totally off limits . . . but you have to draw the line somewhere. And this feels like a bridge too far.

According to a new survey, almost half of Americans are now cool with men wearing tiny speedos to the beach. Dear God, we’re becoming the French.

Here are a few more results from the survey, and fortunately, none of them are quite that jarring . . .

1. 77% of women say they’d never go topless at a nude beach.

2. But . . . 18% of Americans have gone fully nude at one. Really? Lots of dudes, I’d guess. Lots of dudes.

3. Our four biggest fears at the beach are having our stuff stolen . . . getting sunburned . . . bad weather ruining the day . . . and getting attacked by a shark.

4. 10% of us never wear sunscreen.

5. And finally, people around the world voted us the third most attractive people on the beach. Europeans came in first, and people from the Caribbean were second.

Women are still stuck doing most of the work around the house. I mean, over the past few decades, us men have upgraded our effort from “literally doing nothing” to “pitching in”!

A new survey found what the average woman does around the house every week. Check it out . . .

1. She cleans the house three times a week.

2. She cooks up to an hour a day . . . but secretly hates it.

3. She secretly likes vacuuming.

4. She spends five hours a week doing laundry.

5. She changes the sheets at least once every two weeks.

6. She only really scrubs the toilets before people are coming over.

7. She hates letting the dog on the bed, but is okay with him being on the couch.

8. And finally, she doesn’t fully trust her husband to do anything.

Police in Arizona are looking for at least three people who set fire to a bunch of fireworks on sale at a Walmart in Phoenix last Wednesday. And someone posted a video of a whole shelf going up at once. Luckily no one was hurt.

A guy in Leeds, England was about to head to work last week, when he saw a suspicious device strapped to the bottom of his car. So he called the cops, because he thought it might be a bomb!!

He’s a military veteran, so he and the cops both agreed it was possible that a terrorist might target him.

The bomb squad rushed to his house, and started making plans to evacuate all the schools and houses nearby.

But right before they could start getting people out, they figured out what the device really was.

It turns out it was a GPS tracker that the guy’s wife had secretly put on his car, to monitor him.

The cops didn’t say why she wanted to track him. And as far as we know, no charges have been filed.

Have you ever run out of propane while you were grilling? So you had to stop halfway through and go buy a fresh tank?

Well, some grills have gauges on them that tell you how much is left. But if yours doesn’t, there’s still an easy way to figure it out before you start cooking.

Just take a glass of hot water, and pour it down one side of the tank. Then feel it with your hand.

The top of the tank should feel warm from the water. But unless it’s completely empty, it should feel a lot colder as you move your hand down. And here’s why . . .

Propane absorbs heat faster than air does. And when your tank is half full, the top half just has air in it. So that part will feel warm when you touch it, but the lower half that still has propane should feel much colder.

So if it starts feeling cold about a third of the way down, that means you still have two-thirds of a tank left, and you’re probably fine.

But if it only feels cold near the very bottom, it’s almost empty and you should go get a new tank before you start cooking.

I mean, I guess you could arrest this woman over what happened here. But it sounds more funny than malicious.

A woman went to a Kroger grocery store in Bloomfield Township, Michigan last week to pick up a birthday cake for her seven-year-old son.

She ordered a “Batman vs. Superman” cake, but apparently she felt like the bakery botched it. So she went behind the counter to try to fix it herself.

And when the employees told her she couldn’t do that, she picked up the cake and drop-kicked it.

The cake and frosting flew all over the bakery section, and she stormed out.

The cops are still investigating . . . it must be really slow out in Bloomfield Township, Michigan . . . but she could be looking at disorderly conduct charges.

Oakland Press

You never really know what other people do in the shower. Unless you’re really good at installing hidden cameras.

A new survey found some of the weirder things people do when they’re taking a shower or a bath. Here are the six we like . . . Read More »