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Author Archives: Jason Bailey

Dailey Bailey: A Judge Sentenced a Guy to Marry His Girlfriend Within 30 Days or Go to Jail

It’s a cliché to say that marriage is a jail sentence, and your wife is the warden. But we’ve never seen someone take that idea this literally.

jail guyA guy named Josten Bundy was in court in Smith County, Texas last month, facing charges for fighting his girlfriend’s ex. He says the guy was saying disrespectful things, so he punched him in the jaw.

And the judge gave him probation . . . with a catch. He told Josten that if his girlfriend was worth fighting for, she was worth marrying. And that if they didn’t get married within 30 days, Josten would get two weeks in jail.

That’s not actually legal for a judge to do, and if Josten had appealed, it definitely would’ve gotten struck down. But he wasn’t about to take that chance. So he proposed, and 18 days later, he and his girlfriend Elizabeth got married.

They say they’d always planned on getting married, so they’re not upset about it . . . they just wish they’d gotten to do it more on their terms.

Elizabeth says, quote, “I would’ve liked a spring wedding.” And Josten says if they’d had more time to plan, quote, “I would’ve worn a black tux with some yellow under it because I’m a Steelers fan.”

KLTV.com-Tyler, Longview, Jacksonville, Texas | ETX News

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Dailey Bailey: No One Uses “LOL” Anymore . . . Here’s What We Write Instead

Back in the days of America Online chat rooms, when you wanted to acknowledge that something was funny, you’d write “LOL.” If you’re under 25, that sentence sounds like complete jibberish.

Facebook analyzed every single post and comment for one week to figure out how we “laugh” online. Here’s what they found . . .

15% of people “laughed” in at least one post.

51.4% used at least one “ha.” So “ha,” “haha,” and so on.

33.7% used a laughing emoji.

13.1% wrote “hehe.”

And only 1.9% used “LOL.”

Young people were most likely to use emojis . . . older people were most likely to use LOL.

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Dailey Bailey: A Woman Peed and Didn’t Flush, So Her Husband Used the Water for a Pregnancy Test . . . and It Came Back Positive

A couple in Utah named Sam and Nia started getting big on YouTube last year after a video of them lip-synching “Love Is an Open Door” from “Frozen” in their car went viral. And now their newest video is also blowing up.

Nia recently told Sam that she was two weeks late, and might be pregnant again. So he wanted to see if he could find out for sure before she did.

So he bought a pregnancy test, and this is kinda gross . . . but he knew she usually gets up to pee in the middle of the night, and doesn’t always flush. So he waited for it to happen, then used an eyedropper to collect a sample, and it came back positive.

He showed it to her the next morning, and she started laughing, because she thought it was a joke. Then she realized it wasn’t, and seemed a little annoyed she wouldn’t get to give him the good news. But in the end she loved it.

By the way, she took another test afterward just to be sure, and that one came back positive too.

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Dailey Bailey: How To Beat County Fair Games

Rope Ladder

The trick to climbing carnival rope ladders is to completely ignore the “rungs” and only use the outside ropes to climb on.

While applying equal pressure with your right foot and left arm, move your left foot and right arm uat the same time. Then do the same thing with the opposite limbs — shimmying yourself up the ladder.

Do not move both hands or both feet at the same time – you will lose your balance.

Ring Toss Game:

Snap your wrist as you throw the ring to achieve the most spin possible, this will stabilize the ring making it easier to land cleanly on your target.

Balloon Dart Throw

The balloons are under-inflated, and the dart tips are dull. Forget accuracy and throw the dart as hard as you can. Most people aim for the middle, so the game operators will often hide the “good prize” tags behind balloons on the outside edges.

Shoot out the Star:

In this skill game you need to completely remove the red star using a BB gun.

star gameVery hard to beat, even for a good marksman. The trick is to shoot around the star, rather than trying to shoot out the star itself.

Complete the circle and the center of the paper will fall away taking the red star with it.

Also note that the barrels are often bent, and their marks not accurate. Within the first few shots it’s important to gauge just how far off the mark the gun shoots and adjust your aim accordingly.

Basket Toss:

Lean over to get as close to the basket as you are allowed. Toss the ball gently using some backspin. Aim for the inside upper lip of the basket.

Guess your weight, age or birth month:

Unless you very over-weight or really don’t look your age, it’s best to go with the birth month. Some carnies still use an old scam for guessing your birth month.

If the carny uses this trick (not all do) they will scribble down something like the image on the right. Does it say Jun, Jul, or Jan? The guesser could claim it be whichever one is closest to your birth month. That wide spread allows the carny to be within 2 months of any month, except one: October.

So if you think you are dealing with a shady operator, always say “October” is your birth month.

Coin Toss Game:

The object is to toss a coin onto a plate without the coin bouncing off. There are a few tricks to increasing the odds of winning this game:

1. Use a very high arc, with as little spin as possible when tossing the coin. You can even try tossing the coin right up into the hanging stuffed animals above.

2. Covertly cover the coin with spit before tossing it.

3. Some people recommend purposely bouncing the coin off one plate in order to make a second bounce land on a plate safely.

Stand the bottle:

You are given a fishing pole with a small ring attached to the end of the line. Your goal is make a soda bottle (laying on its side) stand using this contraption.

The trick is to PUSH the bottle up rather than pull it up.

carnival bottlesMilk Bottle Throw:

The bottles used in this carnival game are often made with leaded glasses making them very heavy.

The secret to winning the milk bottle throw is to aim at the base of the bottom two containers rather then at the intersection of all three bottles.

Test Your Strength:

The goal is to whack the base of this game with a mallet causing a weight shoot up and ring a bell. The trick is all in accuracy and technique rather than strength. A few tips:

1. Accuracy is the key, be sure to hit the center of base.

2. Hold the mallet as far down the handle as possible while still achieving a firm grip.

3. Hold the mallet over your head, arms completely extended, arch your body backwards. Give a few slow motion test swings to judge how far you should stand away from the target to hit it dead-center. Using this method you will achieve the most momentum and still accurately hit the target.

BasketBall Free-Throw

You have a lot going against you in this game. The ball is over-inflated, the hoop is smaller than regulation size and often an oval shape rather than circular. The backboard is plywood making it extra bouncy. So forget about throwing a normal free-throw shot.

The key is to use a high arc. Do not try to rebound the shot off the backboard — the ball will always bounce too much. To win this game you must make a perfect swish, no backboard.

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Dailey Bailey: Pumpkin Spice Season Has Arrived . . . New Pumpkin Spice Peeps Are on the Way

Pumpkin spice mania was out of control last fall . . . and it’s already starting this year.

The people who make marshmallow Peeps just announced they’re rolling out brand new pumpkin spice peeps for the fall season. They’ll go on sale by the end of this month . . . so I guess fall is already here in peeps pumpkintheir mind.

They’re also going to be selling new caramel apple and candy corn Peeps. It’s all part of their DESPERATE attempt to be more than just an Easter candy.

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Dailey Bailey: A School Welcomed Its Students Back With a Typo on Their Sign

glad you are hearEast Paulding Middle School in Dallas, Georgia started classes this week, and they welcomed their students back with a message on the sign outside school. “Welcome Back Students We Are Glad You Are Hear.” But they spelled it “H-E-A-R.” Oops.

Someone from the school district says the sign was only up for an hour before they caught the mistake and fixed it . . . but that was long enough for someone to take a picture.

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Dailey Bailey: The Ten Signs of Aging That Bother Us Most

While it would be nice to age gracefully like Rob Lowe, most of us just get more saggy and mangled looking by the day. So let’s all revel in our own monstrousness together.

A new survey found the top 10 physical signs of aging that bother the most people. Check ’em out . . .

1. Excess weight, 88%.

2. Skin texture or discoloration issues, 72%.

3. Wrinkles and lines around your eyes, 69%.

4. Sagging skin on your face, 67%.

5. A double chin, 67%.

6. Laugh lines and wrinkles on your cheeks, 64%.

7. Wrinkled skin on your neck and chest, 60%.

8. Forehead wrinkles, 56%.

9. Hair loss, 43%.

10. Acne scars, 27%.

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