Apparently we’re a country of foul-mouthed, nose picking, gas ripping perverts. God bless America. “Wired” magazine just did a statistical breakdown on the average American’s day. Here are 11 weird things they found . . .

We smile 20 times a day.

Tell 1.65 lies.

Exercise 17 minutes.

Pick our nose four times.

Pass gas 10 times.

Watch 2.8 hours of TV.

Pee four to seven times, and poop up to three times.

Lose 40 to 100 strands of hair.

Have 1.5 alcoholic drinks.

Swear 80 times.

And get engorged 11 times . . . if you’re a guy, that is.

Suddenly, the old lady down the street who used to give you pennies on Halloween seems downright normal.

Buzzfeed just asked people to share the weirdest things they ever got trick-or-treating. Here are 9 favorites . . .

1. “Potato salad in a plastic bag.”

2. “One year I got an actual cat. I still have him 17 years later.”

3. “A gingerbread cookie in the shape of a penis.”

4. “Pamphlets about why Halloween was a celebration of Satan.”

5. “A Christmas crossword puzzle.”

6. “I got a small plank of wood.”

7. “A pack of cigarettes for my dad, who was with me.”

8. “Live goldfish, not even in plastic bags . . . they just dumped fish into our bags.”

9. “Hotel toiletries and Mary Kay samples.”

McDonald’s is launching all-day breakfast today. Most locations are only offering 12 things, not the full breakfast menu.

So now that you can stuff your face with sausage 24/7, we thought we’d toss a little knowledge your way. Here are the three least healthy McDonald’s breakfasts you can get all day now . . .

1. Hotcakes and Sausage. 520 calories, 24 grams of fat, and 61 grams of carbs.

2. Sausage Biscuit with Egg. It has 510 calories and 33 grams of fat. Which is more fat than the Hotcakes and Sausage, but about half as many carbs. You can also get a Sausage Biscuit without egg, which is 440 calories.

3. The Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit. 460 calories and 26 grams of fat.

Overall, the Steak, Egg, and Cheese Bagel is the least healthy McDonald’s breakfast with 670 calories . . . but it’s not on the all-day menu.

And as far as the healthiest all-day options go, the Fruit ‘N Yogurt Parfait has the fewest calories, with 150. But if you want a sandwich, it’s the classic Egg McMuffin . . . 300 calories and 12 grams of fat.

Burger King has been selling a Whopper with a black bun for years in other countries, and people asked them to bring it to America. So they finally caved and introduced it as a special Halloween burger this year.

Well . . . maybe we should’ve left it in Asia.

Some people are finding there’s a weird side effect of the black bun on the Halloween Whopper . . . it’s turning their poop Green. Not just a little green either.

People are complaining on Twitter . . .

Yesterday I had the Halloween Whopper… Today my poop is green. Yesterday was the last time I’ll have the Halloween Whopper.

— Daniel Rodriguez (@Danny_Seth) October 4, 2015

Took like three days for my poop to stop being green, but was totally worth it, @BurgerKing

— Toasty (@ImHunterStanton) October 5, 2015

People even sharing photos of their green poop. I accidentally looked at one and would strongly advise you do not!!

The ingredients for the bun include A1 steak sauce and four different food colorings, so somehow they’re teaming up to have this side effect for some people.

Fortunately there’s almost no chance the green poop is a sign of any real health problems. Once the bun is out of your system you’ll be back to nice traditional brown feces again.

An expert on robots wrote a book where he says he’s figured out the ten things that make people fall in love. So . . . take this with a grain of salt.

1. Similarities. Because then it’s easier to imagine them liking you back.

2. “Reciprocal liking,” which is just a stupid way of saying they do like you back.

3. Desirable characteristics. Meaning their personality and appearance.

4. Relationship readiness. Meaning you want to be in a relationship.

5. Alone time together.

6. An air of mystery.

7. Social acceptability. Meaning your friends and family approve.

8. They fulfill you in some way.

9. Excitement. You’re more likely to fall for someone when things are exciting, stressful, or even dangerous. That’s why it’s easy to fall in love during an affair.

10. An X-factor. Something really specific you like about them. It could be anything from their hair to their sense of humor.

A woman in Virginia named Dana Griffin-Graves recently told her husband she was pregnant.  And a video of his reaction is making the rounds, because she told him by putting some buns in their oven, next to a picture of the ultrasound.

Also, they’ve been trying to have a baby for 17 years, and she’s had four miscarriages.  So she waited until she was five months pregnant to tell him this time.

She tells him how far along she is, and that it’s a boy.  So he pulls his shirt up over his head, and starts crying.

If we’re allowed to start suing people for criticizing our gas, I’m going to get rich, baby.

70-year-old Richard Clem of Levittown, Pennsylvania was fired from his job last year . . . because of his out-of-control flatulence. He worked at a company that makes pork rolls, which somehow makes the story even better.

His company felt like his gas was a serious distraction though. Apparently the president even told Richard, quote, “We cannot run an office and have visitors with the odor in the office.” So they fired Richard in February.

But it’s more complicated than that. Richard weighed 420 pounds back in 2010, and had gastric bypass surgery. And the gas was an unintended SIDE effect.

So his wife filed a lawsuit against the company last week, for discrimination against Richard’s disability. According to the suit, the surgery gave him TWO major side effects, quote, “extreme gas and uncontrollable diarrhea.”

She didn’t say how much money they’re looking for . . . they want a jury to decide.

I got the chance to talk to Cookevilles own Samantha Budesa who was on Jeopardy! Listen to the interview

I’m not sure where this happened, but there’s a video of a guy giving a falconry lesson, and letting his pet falcon fly around near a highway. But right after he lets it go, it flies into the side of an oncoming truck and dies

You’ve been wearing underwear wrong your whole life. Here are six underwear mistakes you might be making, and the health problems they cause.

1. It’s too tight. It can cause chafing. And Spanx can actually be dangerous if it’s too tight. It can lead to pinched nerves and decreased circulation. And since it’s more difficult to go to the bathroom in them, women tend to hold it more than they should.

2. Silk and synthetic fabrics. They don’t breathe well, and that increases the risk of moisture being trapped . . . which can cause a bacterial infection.

3. Going ‘commando.’ Most clothing doesn’t have a liner, so the seam of your pants will irritate sensitive areas. But most experts say you SHOULD go commando at night, so things down there can air out

4. Sweating. If you sweat a lot, you should change your underwear twice a day. A warm, moist environment is the perfect place for bacteria . . . and yeast.

5. Non-hypoallergenic detergent. Even if you don’t have sensitive skin, your junk might be sensitive. If you get itchy down there, it might be because your detergent or dryer sheets have too much perfume in them.

6. Thongs. According to one expert, quote, “Thongs can be a unique transport vehicle for bacteria from the back to the front.” Meaning, E. coli from your backside can spread to your lady parts . . . or man parts?