Three former CIA officers just put out a book called “Get the Truth” that’s all about tricking people into being honest. Here are three tricks you can use on anyone, including your kids. And no . . . waterboarding didn’t make the list.
1. Pretend you understand completely. Get them to think you know the truth, and that you get why they did what they did under the circumstances. Then act like the whole thing is a misunderstanding, and it won’t be a big deal if they’re honest about it.
They might end up hating you when you do make a big deal out of it. But if all you want is the truth, that’s the first step.
2. Don’t be judgmental . . . at least not yet. Once they start being honest, don’t show your hand and start yelling at them. They might have more to say, but they’re less likely to say it once it’s clear you actually are angry.
3. Don’t make one parent the good cop, and one the bad cop. The whole good-cop-bad-cop thing is a Hollywood invention . . . and it doesn’t actually work.
Instead you should both be the good cop. Then once they tell you the truth, you can bring the hammer down if you need to.