Jason Bailey

While it would be nice to age gracefully like Rob Lowe, most of us just get more saggy and mangled looking by the day. So let’s all revel in our own monstrousness together.

A new survey found the top 10 physical signs of aging that bother the most people. Check ’em out . . .

1. Excess weight, 88%.

2. Skin texture or discoloration issues, 72%.

3. Wrinkles and lines around your eyes, 69%.

4. Sagging skin on your face, 67%.

5. A double chin, 67%.

6. Laugh lines and wrinkles on your cheeks, 64%.

7. Wrinkled skin on your neck and chest, 60%.

8. Forehead wrinkles, 56%.

9. Hair loss, 43%.

10. Acne scars, 27%.

Go ahead and dump an entire bottle of Tabasco sauce on your lunch today. Sure, it might make for a few painful bathroom trips . . . but you’ve got to think about the bigger picture.

A new study from the Harvard School of Public Health found that people who eat spicy foods live longer.

They studied data from more than 500,000 people in China, and found that people who ate spicy foods once or twice a week were 10% more likely to live longer than people who don’t.

And eating spicy foods three or four times a week bumped it up to 14%.

Spicy foods were also linked to less risk of getting cancer, heart disease, and lung disease.

The researchers say they need to study it more before they can say for a fact that spicy food makes you live a longer and healthier life . . . but the evidence is all definitely pointing that way.

Time

After what happened in South Carolina, the idea of anyone pulling a gun in church is terrifying. It happened in Florida on Sunday, but thankfully no one was hurt . . . all thanks to one awesome pastor.

Pastor Les and his wife Marie.

Les Snodgrass is the pastor at The Door Christian Fellowship Church in Melbourne, Florida. Yes, he has a cool name too.

He was giving a sermon on Sunday morning on the value of life, when a 21-year-old guy named John Grace stood up, pulled out a gun, and demanded money.

So Les approached him slowly, and started talking to him to calm him down. Then when he got close enough . . . he tackled the guy.

As soon as he had him down, his son joined in to help hold him until the cops got there.

It turned out John’s gun was a BB gun, but he was still charged with armed robbery.

Florida Today

A 13-year-old named Saige Seibold lives in Cement, Oklahoma, and lost her dad Johnny to pancreatic cancer back in May. (Cement is about an hour outside Oklahoma City.)

About a month later, she and her mom went to visit his grave on Father’s Day, and released some balloons with a note, asking whoever found them to get in touch.

Which didn’t go well at first, because they got tangled in some power lines. But a gust of wind eventually blew them away, and Saige watched them drift off into the sky.

After that, she and her mom ran errands for a few hours, and drove home. And that’s when Saige noticed something in a field a few hundred feet from their house.

It turned out the balloons had drifted 25 miles . . . and landed in their backyard.

Saige and her mom say it can’t just be a coincidence, and think it’s her dad’s way of letting them know he’s okay. And even though they miss him, they know he’s not really gone.

You know how women at your office are always wearing sweaters or wrapped in blankets when it’s 90 degrees out? There’s actually a legitimate reason.

A new study out of the Netherlands just figured out why women are always cold at the office.

It turns out that most buildings are still being heated and cooled based on standards from the 1960s. And all of the numbers then were based on the metabolism of men.

But since men are usually heavier and more muscular than women, they have a much higher metabolic rate. That means men need it much colder to be comfortable.

Also, men tend to wear warmer clothes to work than women . . . pants are warmer than skirts, men’s shirts are thicker than women’s blouses, and shoes with closed toes are warmer than sandals or open-toed shoes.

So what’s the answer? It seems like there really isn’t one. Even as smart thermostats become more popular, men and women just need different temperatures.

So unless someone invents a system that heats or cools everyone’s area individually, women may have to keep on wearing sweaters in August.

Washington Post

You can’t see inside the kitchen at most restaurants, so there’s no way to tell how clean it is. But here are five red flags you can look out for . . . Read More »

Breaking news: Nerdy teenagers get better grades.

An economics professor at the University of Southern California analyzed more than 20,000 students to see if there was a correlation between their grades and their social lives.

And he found one very clear result: Kids who aren’t popular with the opposite sex have GPAs that are an average of 0.4 points higher.

That’s pretty significant. Like, a 3.3 GPA looks okay on a college application, while a 2.9 could be a deal breaker.

The theory is that kids who are popular with the opposite sex are less likely to pay attention in class or study at night . . . because they’re so focused on trying to date.

And here’s some more bad news for popular kids. Another new study from the University of Virginia found the “cool kids” in a school are more likely to wind up having alcohol, drug, and legal problems as adults.

“Glamour” magazine is catching heat for a list they posted last weekend called “13 Little Things That Can Make a Man Fall Hard for You.”

Readers thought it was like something you’d read in the 1950’s, so “Glamour” pulled it down earlier this week. I guess it could be offensive but these things would make a man fall for you!

Here are all 13 tips . . .

1. Stock the fridge with his favorite drink, and hand him a beer as soon as he steps out of the shower.

2. Make him a snack after you get it on, like a grilled cheese or milk and cookies.

3. Email him the latest online gossip about his favorite TV show.

4. Brag about him to other people while he’s around.

5. When he comes over, answer the door in a negligee . . . or better yet, naked.

6. Be open to whatever he wants to try in the bedroom.

7. Let him help solve your petty work problems . . . because guys like to fix things. And yes, they really used the word “petty.”

8. Memorize stats about his favorite sports team.

9. Make a big deal out of his favorite meal. If he likes cut up hot dogs mixed with macaroni-and-cheese, serve it to him on a silver platter.

10. Treat his friends as well as you treat your own. If you win their affections, you’ll win his heart.

11. Sit next to him while he watches whatever he wants to on TV.

12. Give him a massage . . . happy ending completely optional.

13. “[Take] him back to third grade with a gentle tease over anything, from how you’ll dominate him on the basketball court to the weird way he just styled his hair.”

If your parents told you they went to Woodstock, there’s a good chance they’re lying. Just like you lie to your kids and say you went to Woodstock ’99. Never has Limp Bizkit rocked harder!

A new survey found 73% of parents lie about their past to make themselves seem cooler. Here are the top 10 things they lie about . . .

1. Their social life and the events they went to.

2. The music they liked.

3. The fashion sense they had.

4. The sports they played and how good they were at them.

5. Their relationships and love life.

6. Adventurous experiences and things they did.

7. Friendships.

8. Their education.

9. The technology they owned or used.

10. The arts and cultural stuff they were into.

Is talking smack about your ex on Facebook worth going to jail for? I guess we’re about to find out.

Maureen Curoe

40-year-old Maureen Curoe of Belfast, Northern Ireland was in a long relationship with a guy named Adrian McAleese, but they broke up three years ago. And ever since then, she’s been busting on him and his new girlfriend on Facebook.

She would post lies about Adrian, she called his new girlfriend nasty things, and she even made up a fake Facebook account to send them obscene messages.

So Adrian finally called the police, and Maureen was in court this week.

The judge decided the posts weren’t a legitimate threat, but he did put a restraining order on Maureen’s Facebook use. If she mentions Adrian or contacts him on Facebook in the next two years, she’ll go to prison for five years.