Jason Bailey

The Internet is the greatest collection of knowledge and information in human history. So why do we all feel dumber after spending time online?

Scientists have finally figured out why the Internet is making you so much stupider. Fortunately, the explanation is pretty easy to understand, even for our soft, mushy brains.

It’s because of . . . links. That’s it. Here’s why.

When you read something online, you’re constantly bombarded by links to other articles, videos, and pictures. Plus there are the ads. So many ads. That makes your brain work while it reads, because it has to make decisions.

When you read a book, you don’t have any choices like that. And because your brain isn’t making decisions, it does a better job processing what it’s reading and committing to memory.

Your life probably hasn’t gone quite how you pictured it. Some of us come to terms with that. Some of us just can’t.

A new survey found 76% of people have regrets about how their lives have turned out. Here are the top six things we wish we’d done differently . . .

1. Taken more time to travel.

2. Saved more money.

3. Married someone different. Wow.

4. Bought a house earlier.

5. Followed a different career path.

6. Lost weight and exercised back when we were younger and it was easier.

And if all that’s not depressing enough for you, here’s one more kick in the groin from the survey: The average age when people realize their hopes and dreams aren’t going to happen and just give up is . . . 32. Have a great weekend!

I’m going to give you an opportunity here to vent. What’s something that really bothers you about your significant other you have to get off your chest . . . but wouldn’t feel comfortable telling them? Read More »

Remember when you thought it was gross to use your phone while you were on the toilet? Those days are ancient history now . . . toilet time is phone time.

A new survey asked men and women what they do on their phones while they’re doing their filthy business. Here are the results . . .

1. 36% of women and 42% of men text.

2. 26% of women and 22% of men use social media.

3. 18% of women and 21% of men make phone calls.

4. 1% of women and 8% of men check their fantasy football leagues.

5. And finally, 6% of women and 5% of men take photos. On the toilet. Because in 2016, it’s ALWAYS time for a selfie.

And an unrelated study found one out of six phones have fecal matter on them.

The most important rule for a Super Bowl party is to always make sure there’s enough food and booze. But here are four other tips that aren’t so obvious . . .

1. Tell people to get there early. If they all show up five minutes before the game, they won’t have time to relax and hang out. So tell them they can come an hour or two before kickoff if they want.

2. Have more than one TV set up. If you’ve got a lot of people coming, you might even want two in your living room so everyone isn’t crowded around the same TV. And having one you can see from the kitchen is also nice.

3. Play games and hand out prizes. It might sound lame, but it makes it more fun for the people who don’t actually care about football. You can print out Super Bowl bingo cards for free. Or just google “Super Bowl party games” if you need ideas.

And if you want to gamble, the Super Bowl squares thing is always popular. That’s where you draw a grid . . . everyone gets numbers . . . and you win money based on the score at the end of each quarter.

4. Have a football on hand. A lot of people still like the tradition of going outside at halftime and throwing it around.

Be honest, guys. Deep down, you think you’re a great boyfriend. Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably not . . . at least according to a list going around online. It was put together by two girls, aged 6 and 9. Here are our favorite traits they came up with.

1. Nice handwriting.

2. “Cuteness.”

3. He should like his girlfriend’s parents.

4. He’s not living with his parents.

5. “Nice jewelry.” I assume that means he gives nice jewelry, not wears it.

6. He doesn’t pick his nose.

7. He doesn’t try to kiss you on the first date.

8. He’s always happy.

9. He respects different religions.

10. His last name is “not weird.”

11. He brushes and flosses.

12. He doesn’t tattle tale.

You can check out all 30 here

You might think double dipping a chip at a Super Bowl party this weekend is a victimless crime. Really, what’s the worst thing that can happen?

Here’s the worst thing that can happen. death. Lots and lots of death.

A study at Tulane University in New Orleans analyzed flu data from the past 35 years, and found an interesting connection to the Super Bowl.

If a city’s team is in the Super Bowl, their death from the flu jumps. People over 65 in that city are 18% more likely to die . . . and that’s not a coincidence.

The researchers say it’s because people are more likely to attend big Super Bowl parties with people they don’t know . . . and whose germs they aren’t used to.

And as they all get really into the game, they start double dipping chips, shouting, and coughing . . . and that spreads germs. And since older people are the most susceptible to dying from the flu, that’s really bad news for them.

Gizmodo

This is good to know right before the Super Bowl . . . it gives you lots of time to plan your move to a better football city before next season.

WalletHub.com just ranked the 245 biggest cities in the country from the best to worst places to be a football fan.

It’s based on stuff like the number of NFL and college teams . . . how those teams do . . . the total number of championships . . . the average ticket prices . . . how friendly the fans are on social media . . . and the number of sports bars per capita.  Cookeville came in at number 157 beating out Knoxville that came in at 197. Nashville took the top spot in Tennessee ranked at 57.

The top five are:

1.  Green Bay, Wisconsin . . . thanks to the Packers.

2.  Clemson, South Carolina . . . Clemson had a fantastic season this year.

3.  Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania . . . thanks to the Steelers.

4.  Tuscaloosa, Alabama . . . the University of Alabama won the championship this year.

5.  East Lansing, Michigan . . . Michigan State has been on a strong run for years.

There was a BIG difference between the two cities in this year’s Super Bowl.  Denver came in 6th . . . Charlotte came in 48th.

The worst cities to be a football fan are Kingston, Rhode Island . . . New Britain, Connecticut . . . and East Hartford, Connecticut.

You can see the rankings for all 245 cities here

Heinz took a page from Budweiser’s “cute animal” book, and got a bunch of wiener dogs . . . put hot dog costumes on them . . . and had them stampede through a field toward people who were dressed up as bottles of ketchup and mustard.  “Without You” is playing in the background.

Honda also went the animal route.  In their ad, a chorus of sheep sing “Somebody to Love” by Queen because it had been playing in the farmer’s truck before he drove off.  They stop singing when he comes back.

If Facebook annoys us so much, why don’t we all just quit? We’re behaving like addicts, people.

A new survey asked around 200 people in every state: What type of Facebook post annoys you the most? And they gave people five categories to choose from. Check out the results.

1. Posts about personal problems were voted the most annoying posts in 21 states.

2. Selfies, nine states.

3. Posts about politics, seven states.

4. Pictures of food, seven states.

5. And baby pictures, six states.

Fittingly, Iowa is one of the seven states where they hate Facebook posts about politics the most . . . while the rest of us are sick to death of hearing about politics in Iowa.

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