Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Happening Now

Jason Bailey

Dailey Bailey: Moms Deserve a Salary of $253,000 a Year For Everything They Do

I usually wait until Mother’s Day to talk about how under-appreciated mom are. But I don’t think you could ever over-appreciate Mom!!! (Brownie points if my Mom reads this)

According to new research, moms deserve a salary of $253,000 a year for all the unpaid work they do. Moms do an average of 119 hours of unpaid work every week for their family. Here are the 10 jobs they do and what they should get paid per hour.

Housekeeper, $17 an hour.

Head chef, $25 an hour.

Teacher, $26 an hour.

Psychologist, $69 an hour.

Chauffeur, $18 an hour.

Entertainer, $44 an hour.

Personal shopper, $18 an hour.

Personal trainer, $29 an hour.

Lawyer, $72 an hour.

Nanny, $16 an hour.

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Dailey Bailey: Happy St. Patrick’s Day . . . Here’s How to Open a Beer Bottle With a Sheet of Paper

Want to impress people when you’re out drinking for St. Patrick’s Day? How about showing them you’re the MacGyver of drunks?

There’s a YouTube video floating around that shows how to get the cap off a beer bottle using nothing but a sheet of paper. It’s an old trick, but if you’ve never heard about it, here’s what you do . . .

1. Fold the paper in half from top to bottom. Then fold it in half long-wise three times, until it’s long and thick. Heh.

2. Now fold that in the middle, to turn it into a “V” shape.

3. Hold the bottle steady, put the “V” part under the cap, and pop it off.

You might want to practice once before you try to impress the ladies . . . you’ll be way cooler if you do it on your first try.

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Dailey Bailey: The Ten “White Lies” We Tell Most

Think you’re an honest person? Once you hear this, you’ll realize just how much you lie! It’s, like, all day every day.

A new survey found the 10 most common “white lies.” And yeah, I’m pretty sure I’ve used all of them at some point. Check ’em out.

1. “I’m fine” . . . 92% of people have told that lie.

2. “I love this gift” . . . 80%.

3. “Sorry, I’m sick” . . . 78%.

4. “I didn’t see your text” . . . 72%.

5. “Let’s keep in touch” . . . 70%.

6. “This food you cooked is delicious” . . . 70%.

7. “I’m leaving in five minutes” . . . 69%.

8. “I’m on the way” . . . 66%.

9. “I’ll be ready in 15 minutes” . . . 65%.

10. “No, you don’t need to lose weight” . . . 63%.

The survey also found 27% of people lie to their coworkers more than anyone else . . . for 24% it’s their family . . . for 22% it’s their friends . . . for 11% it’s their significant other . . . and for 9% it’s their parents.

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Dailey Bailey: A “Cannonball Run” Remake is in the Works

“The Cannonball Run” is the latest classic flick to get the remake treatment. It’ll be written and directed by Etan Cohen. He co-wrote “Idiocracy” and “Tropic Thunder” . . . and he co-wrote and directed “Get Hard”.

The original “Cannonball Run” came out in 1981, and starred Burt Renyolds and Dom Deluise as one of several teams competing in a cross-country road race.

It had a huge, all-star cast . . . at least for its time. It included Roger Moore, Farrah Fawcett, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Adrienne Barbeau, Terry Bradshaw, Mel Tillis, Jackie Chan, Bert Convy, Jamie Farr, and Peter Fonda.

Then there was a sequel in 1984 that starred Burt and Dom and some other stars from the original . . . plus Frank Sinatra, Telly Savalas, Shirley MacLaine, Tim Conway, Don Knotts, Tony Danza, Ricardo Montalban, Joe Theismann, and Abe Vigoda.

Here is the opening from the original

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Dailey Bailey: Forget March Madness, There’s a Tournament to Decide the Craziest Name

Most of us don’t know anything about college basketball ( although I think I have filled out a perfect bracket ). But we do know no human being should have a name like Cinderela Guevara, Jasmine Albuquerque-Crossaint, or Lt. Charlene Sprinkle-Huff.

There’s a website called NameOfTheYear.com that runs its OWN version of March Madness every spring. They find the 64 craziest REAL names in the news over the past year, and have them battle it out in a tournament.

The voting starts in a few days on their website.

The four top seeds are a chemist named Tillmann Buttersack . . . a professor at Duke named Pope McCorkle the Third . . . a pro cricket player from Zimbabwe named Joylord Gumbie . . . and a teenage criminal named Shuntayvious Primes-Willis.

Last year, a woman named Amanda Miranda Panda beat a guy named Lancelot Supersad Junior to take the title.

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Dailey Bailey: The Worst Thing You Can Lie About Is Being on Birth Control . . . the Most Harmless Lie Is Calling a Baby Cute

A new survey had people rank how bad it is to tell a bunch of different lies. And this isn’t really a surprise, but the four things that are worst to lie about all have to do with sex.

The worst lie is . . . “I’m on birth control.”

The rest of the five worst lies are “I’m not just looking for sex” . . . lying about how many people you’ve had sex with . . . “You’re the first person I’ve ever done this with” . . . and “I always wash my hands after I use the bathroom.”

On the other end of the scale, the most harmless lie is . . . “Your baby is cute.”

The rest of the five least severe lies are “I’m really bad with names” . . . “I love this present” . . . “Your cooking is great” . . . and “I have a headache.”

The survey also found single people tell the most lies in the average day.

Oh, and 3.85% admitted to lying on the survey, so take it all for what it’s worth.

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Dailey Bailey: A Guy Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Groin . . . and Blames It on Ninjas

Who says the kids today don’t have vivid imaginations anymore?

A 17-year-old in Elmwood Park, Illinois accidentally SHOT HIMSELF in the groin. But when the cops got to the hospital to talk to him, he told them he was shot by . . . Ninjas!!!

The police investigated and couldn’t find any evidence that ninjas were responsible for the shooting. Although, in ninjas’ defense, if they were good ninjas they wouldn’t have left any sign anyway.

But the police did find evidence that the kid had shot himself, and confronted him with that information. Eventually he gave in and confessed that it wasn’t ninjas after all.

His injuries aren’t life threatening, and so far he hasn’t been arrested. But the kid has gang ties, so some charges ARE expected.

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Dailey Bailey: A Guy Dressed Up as a Cop to Impress His Girlfriend . . . and Got Arrested for Impersonating an Officer

Any guy who goes to a flea market with his girlfriend should automatically get a million brownie points. And the rest of this shouldn’t even have been necessary.

Last Wednesday, a 24-year-old named Jeremiah Cunningham got dragged to a flea market in Oakland Park, Florida by his girlfriend. And he decided to impress her by dressing up as a cop.

pose as deputyNow, it’s not clear how long they’ve been dating. But apparently he was trying to make her think he’s an actual cop. And he went all out, wearing a badge and a bulletproof vest with the word “Sheriff” on it, plus handcuffs and a fully loaded gun on his hip.

But he’d also done his homework. Because when a real cop started talking to him, Jeremiah threw out a bunch of cop terms and actually convinced the cop he was legit.

But later that day, another officer looked at a photo of Jeremiah, realized he wasn’t a real cop, and managed to track down his family.

Jeremiah ended up turning himself in the next day. He’s charged with openly carrying a weapon, using a police badge, and impersonating an officer.

 

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