Jason Bailey

It’s not like we feel bad for these idiots, but there’s no way they could have seen this coming . . .

Two guys tried to rob a McDonald’s in eastern France on Sunday. One of them fired a warning shot while the other guy grabbed money from the registers, and ended up with about $2,200.

But there were about 40 people inside eating when it happened . . . and 11 of them happened to be members of an elite special forces team.

They were all off-duty, but armed, and they actually specialize in hostage situations. So they waited for the two guys to leave, because they didn’t want to put anyone else in danger.

Then they chased them through the parking lot, and arrested one of them when he tripped on some stairs. Then the other guy raised his gun like he was going to shoot, so one of the special forces guys shot him in the stomach.

But they got him to a hospital in time, and he survived. And now both guys are facing charges for armed robbery.

This is not a test!!!

You don’t have to go to a county fair to experience deep fried Twinkies anymore. Something that unhealthy needed to roam free.

Hostess just introduced a prepackaged version of Deep Fried Twinkies, and they’re on sale right now at Walmart. And Walmart has a one-year exclusive deal to sell them, because they know their customers.

They’re pre-fried, and they’re in the frozen food section. So you need to heat them up in the oven or the microwave before you eat them.

Deep fried Twinkies? Wal-Mart worked with Hostess to develop this decadent treat. $WMT has a one-year exclusive pic.twitter.com/5R3lH1Fc0l

— Anne D'Innocenzio (@ADInnocenzio) June 3, 2016

Father’s Day is next Sunday, so you still have time to buy a new present if you botched it. You might actually have to walk into a store and buy it like it’s 1994 or something, but at least there’s time.

In a new survey, dads ranked the three worst Father’s Day gifts. They are . . .

3. Socks and underwear.

2. A tie.

1. Foregetting . . . or not giving him anything at all.

The best gifts include: Photos of the kids, handmade gifts and cards, and just spending time with the family.

But when dads had to list gifts that actually cost money . . . in other words, the real gifts they want . . . they mentioned electronics, power tools, and sports gear and equipment.

If you want to go power tools, a separate survey found for the first time ever, more dads want power washers than drills.

There’s a 17-year-old kid in Memphis named Kevuntez King, who’s been getting up at 3:45 every Sunday for four and a half years to sell newspapers.

Exactly . . . he’s a teenager, and he not only knows what newspapers are, he sells them. Outside . . . at the corner . . . every Sunday morning . . . no matter the weather . . . for 12 hours . . . for almost five years!!

He grew up with a single mom, so back when he was 12 he figured out he could make $150 a week doing it. And he eventually saved up enough money to pay for college.

He just graduated from high school with straight A’s . . . played three sports . . . and got voted Prom King. He’s headed to Tennessee State this fall, and is planning to study physical therapy.

He told the local news his mom is the one who taught him to work hard and never give up. And people in his apartment building have also offered support over the years.

His message for other kids is to stay positive, believe in yourself, and, quote, “make sure you surround yourself with people [who are] trying to go UP in life, and not trying to bring you down.”

| WBTV Charlotte

When you’re a kid, your birthday is a huge deal. Then you grow up, and your birthdays stop being exciting . . . they just remind you that you’re getting old. I had to ask my wife the other day how old I was going to be on my birthday!! So this makes sense.

According to a new survey, the average person stops celebrating their birthday when they hit 31. Yeah, maybe you’ll let someone throw you a party for a big milestone like 40, 50, or 60 . . . but not anything in between.

Here are a few more results from the survey . . .

1. People who were born in June, September, or October are the least likely to celebrate their birthdays. People who were born in March or August are the most likely.

2. The average adult gets eight cards and five presents for their birthday . . . and two out of three get a cake.

3. The main reason people don’t do anything to celebrate their birthday is . . . they don’t want to spend the time organizing a party.

4. And if you HAVE to do something for your birthday, the top things people want are a weekend trip, or a dinner out with their family.

A new study ranked all 50 states from safest to most dangerous, and we like their results . . . because they didn’t just base it on crime rates. This is some thorough stuff right here.

They also used criteria like car accidents, work injuries, disease rates, the number of major natural disasters in the past decade, the number of cops and firefighters, and suicide rates.

And based on all of that, the safest state in the country is . . . Vermont.

The 10 safest states are Vermont . . . Massachusetts . . . New Hampshire . . . Rhode Island . . . Maine . . . Connecticut . . . Minnesota . . . Virginia . . . Utah . . . and Iowa.

And the most dangerous state in the country is . . . Mississippi.

The 10 most dangerous states are Mississippi . . . Oklahoma . . . Alaska . . . New Mexico . . . Tennessee . . . South Carolina . . . Louisiana . . . Arkansas . . . Nevada . . . and Missouri.

This is some straight-up Lassie action right here.

Last week, in Tha Rua, Thailand, a dog named Pui was wandering around in a garbage dump. He spotted a plastic bag . . . with a newborn baby girl inside. Apparently, someone had just abandoned their newborn at the dump.

Pui picked up the bag with his mouth, brought it back to his owner’s house, and started barking.

His owner came out, found the baby, and rushed it to the hospital. The baby was clearly premature and only weighed four pounds . . . but doctors were able to save her life.

She’s been transferred to a bigger hospital. The cops are trying to track down her mother.

The local Red Cross gave Pui a new leather collar as a reward.

If you’re a guy and you’ve still got your hair . . . or a woman who doesn’t understand why going bald is such a big deal to men . . . maybe these statistics will give you a clue. Check out these numbers from a new survey on baldness . . .

13% of bald men say when they first started feeling truly bald it affected their relationship.

4% take it even further . . . and say they went temporarily insane when they lost their hair.

25% of bald men would give up a pay raise this year to get their hair back . . . 17% would give up sex for a year . . . 36% would give up their favorite football team . . . and 38% would give up alcohol for a year.

23% would, quote, “give up their mother-in-law” to get their hair back. We’re not entirely sure what that means . . . are these guys saying they’d murder their wife’s mom to get their hair back?

And finally, 10% of bald men would give up a year of their life to get their hair back.

This happened on the other side of the world, so it’s probably not going to set a legal precedent over here . . . and that’s very good news.

A woman named Nina Zgurskaya in Siberia, Russia recently broke up with her boyfriend after two years because he didn’t propose to her.

(The guy’s name wasn’t released. We don’t know how old he is, but we do know Nina is in her 20s.)

Well, a few weeks later, she got court papers from him . . . because he was suing her for the cost of all of their dates and gifts!! Apparently he kept super detailed records of everything he spent on her.

And the whopping total was . . . $672, including legal fees.

He says he never even considered Nina his girlfriend so, quote, “I never said that I was giving her a present or a free ride . . . am I expected to give money to every woman on the street?”

Here is the whole story.

A video of a four-year-old kid explaining why he never wants to get married is making the rounds. Apparently it’s from 2014, but someone reposted it on Facebook.

He says he doesn’t want to kiss anyone, because he doesn’t like spit. And he does want to have kids someday . . . he just doesn’t want a wife.