Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Country News

Not Just Smoking Outlawed At Dogwood Park…

The Cookeville City Council approved an ordinance banning smoking at Dogwood Park. But thats not all that was banned. Check out the list before you head that way.

  1. No tossing babies more than 18 inches vertically and they must be caught.
  2. Nothing will be served with sugar because sugar is even more addictive than heroin.
  3. No screaming kids. Screaming kids must leave the park within 5 minutes of first scream
  4. No peeing in the splash pad and a fine for peeing if you had asparagus.
  5. No one named Daryl will be allowed because Daryl just sounds like a smokers name.
  6. Vaping is allowed but only if you use rain forest coconut oil.
  7. Must be under 145lbs to wear yoga pants and certainly no flesh tones.
  8. Flatulence is strictly prohibited, the park will enforce the smeller is the feller rule.
  9. No stage diving during Community Band Concerts
  10. If your dog relieves its self at the park Cookeville PD will rub your nose in it.

 

 

Oh and by the way…. this is all fake….but surely you could have figured that out.